I was struck by an odd comment this morning. It was made by someone who though we do not speak on a daily basis nor do we “hang” with the wee ones occasionally, but still someone who knows myself and our family. It went down with cordial morning greetings how’s yours/how’s mine common questions. Somehow along the path of playing nice nice, said person uttered words that literally stopped me in my tracks and I fought my ability to wear my feelings all over my face. And if you really know me, you know how hard this was.
It didn’t last long.
“I never thought Tuck was Autistic. He doesn’t “act or look” Autistic. I can’t believe you even got a diagnosis.“
You can not be real life and keep a straight face when you are suddenly hit with these words. Let me explain why.
No my son does in fact NOT look Autistic. He looks like me. The way he acts is in fact a result of the intense therapy he began around the age of 17 months. You see a hyper active smiling happy go lucky about life kid who falls in love with everyone he meets and never shuts up. You see a child who knows no definition of discrimination nor may never see the use for judgement onto others. You see what years of tears, stress and constant “atta boys” can do. You see a little one whom we have sat with night after night until our rears were numb doing our “homework” so he could move on to the next set in his daily therapy.
Autism doesn’t have a “look.” It shows no boundaries on who it chooses. Autism not only effects a child but everyone who is in the child’s life. And after years of work and worry I can say I never ever never never raised him to feel different. I raised him as any other child. No excuses.
Just because somewhere in a filing cabinet in Oklahoma City a sheet of paper has his name on it and beside it says, “Diagnosis -High Functioning Autism” does not mean THAT defines who he is.
In my personal journey through this, I of course had a completely different idea of how this parenting gig was going to go. Somewhere amongst the clouds and fate or what ever your beliefs may be, a different path was chosen for us.
And let me be clear. I would not have it any other way.
And I know I can vouch for Tuck. Neither would he.
Xoxo
I’m sorry that this happened to you. Having been the person giving the therapy I have known and loved many autistic children, and not once did I love them because they had a label that said autistic…it was because they were beautiful little people.
Thank you
It is very uncommon to come across folks such as who I encountered, but the amount of wonderful people we surround ourselves with makes up for it beyond imagination!
This kind of situation is exactly why it is so important that those of us in the Autism community continue to spread awareness. There is too much misinformation and ignorance about it. There was a time when I didn’t know very much about Autism and I wish I had been informed long before my son was born. Maybe then I would have known what to look for and he could have gotten treatment much sooner.
Tucker is so lucky to have you as a mom. Keep fighting the good fight.
Thank you so much! Its rare to encounter ignorance such as what I dealt with but I try to educate when the moment arises for sure! Just keep on keep it on and never give up!
*fist bump
You are the rock star of moms my friend, and Tuck is the rock star of little boys – period. Thoughtless, ignorant people are always gonna be out there – as unfortunate as that reality is. But Tuck has the right mama at his back, and he will continue to thrive and shine and light up the world – because of who he is and because of his mama..
Thank you sweet friend! Thankfully we don’t encounter folks like that often! Just took the wind out of me for a brief moment, but I always try to educate those who don’t understand so they don’t say such hurtful things to others. That’s my bright side of it
and just keep on trucking!
You really do rock my friend…and ignorant people are lucky to be educated by you..:-)
My chin just dropped. A “look”!? seriously? A look. Honey, I’m sorry you have to face ignorance like that. Keep being the awesome mommy you are. You have a spectacular boy who is so lucky to have you.
Thank you mama! It shocked me for sure but as long as I keep on keep it on I can thank my lucky stars we don’t encounter people like that often!
Applause!!! They say the same about my little cousin. When no one has any idea what you deal with behind close doors or what it took to get where you are today. How are they suppose to look?? People really need to think before they speak!!
I agree 110%! I do my best on these rare sudden occasions to educate what our life is, and just hope they take something from it
Reblogged this on Jack Henao Diary.